Thor: Ragnorak just came out. The Avengers: Infinity War trailer just dropped. And Black Panther is right around the corner. So, naturally, I need to re-watch the entire MCU. I'm going to rank the films before the re-watch and then rank again once the re-watch is complete. I have a lot of free time.
Very little thought was put into the making of this list.
17. 'Thor 2: The Dark World'
Loki was funny. Thor was tedious. Natalie Portman's Jane Foster is better than Natalie Portman's Padme. I don't remember much of the plot and that's probably for the best.
16. 'The Incredible Hulk'
The first rule of the MCU is we do not talk about Ed Norton. It's also the second rule.
15. 'Iron Man 2'
Mickey Rourke was nominated for a Teen Choice Award for Best Villain. He did not win.
14. 'Thor'
Shakespeare directed this movie. And it shows. It's a fun fish-out-of-water tale that works on so many levels. Good job, William Shakespeare.
13. 'Iron Man 3'
Marvel has a history of casting Oscar winning actors in supporting roles... Anthony Hopkins, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Bridges... to name a few. 'Iron Man 3' is no different. Ben Kinsgsley slays in this movie. And that bratty little turd from Jurassic World is good, too.
12. 'Doctor Strange'
The scenes between Cumberbatch and Mikkelsen are magic. None more magical than their introduction:
Kaecilius: How long have you been at Kamar-Taj, Mister...
Dr. Stephen Strange: Doctor!
Kaecilius: Mr. Doctor?
Dr. Stephen Strange: It's Strange.
Kaecilius: Maybe. Who am I to judge?
11. 'Ant-Man'
In his critique of the film, Richard Roeper wrote 'Ants are pests, and that's just a weird place to start for a superhero, especially if he never strays too far from his origins.' I bet he didn't say that shit about Batman.
10. 'Guardians of the Galaxy 2'
I'm a full grown adult person and a talking raccoon is my favorite character in the history of anything that has talking characters.
9. 'Captain America: The First Avenger'
I'm not a big fan of origin stories. Some are good. Some are garbage. This might just be the best one. Besides Iron Man. And the Karate Kid. And that Mel Gibson Jesus movie about Scotland.
8. 'Avengers: Age of Ultron'
James Spader is Ultron.
7. 'Captain America: Civil War'
The ending isn't the best. But we get Spider-Man and Black Panther. And that's pretty god damn good. Fun Fact: This movie has nothing to do with the Amercian Civil War.
6. 'Iron Man'
The best origin story since Citizen Kane. Spoiler Alert: Rosebud is a sled in this movie, too.
5. 'Thor: Ragnorak'
Easily the funniest and most original entry of the MCU to date. Jeff Goldblum is Jeff Goldblum and Thor gets a makeover. It's the Footloose of comic book movies.*
*I was watching Footloose when I wrote this.
4. 'Spider-Man: Homecoming'
Super duper awesome. Homecoming is the best Spider-Man movie yet. The characters were relatable and funny. It reminded me so much of my high school experience. Except my homecoming had way more actual spiders.
3. 'Guardians of the Galaxy'
I changed my mind. This is the best origin story in the MCU. Copy and Paste what I wrote for Iron Man.
2. 'Marvel's The Avengers'
Almost made the top of the list and definitely has my favorite scene of the entire MCU catalog so far.
1. 'Captain America: The Winter Soldier'
Never forget Tony Stark's house words... The Winter Soldier is com... ok. jesus christ don't post that.
This is just a rough draft, right?
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